Letting Go

I just thought i share a poem i wrote recently... It quite clearly explains what I'm feeling right about now. Becoming farther from someone so close to you is not something one always enjoys. But sometimes undesired change is needed in order for Gods perfect plan to unfold. Which makes the suffering worth every second. Through EVERYTHING, God never fails to show Himself faithful, true, and worth it.

All those beautiful moments I once had

I gave all of myself to each one

Cultivating the beauty which sculpts us

Those memories that make us ache

I long for them to remake

But people change, relationships rearrange

And what I once had, has made me sad

If breakthrough comes with acceptance of change

than surrender is the only exchange

So I pray for better comings ahead

And let go of all the memories to which i clung

On my knees every night before bed

There I found a dream already written on my heart

17 years passed

Its remained there all along

And with Your love that lasts

Its not too late to find where i belong

So i brush off the eraser shavings left from the memories

And hand the pencil over to the Author of it all

Beginning to end

One thing so important to me is embracing and just really living in each moment we live, because we don't get them back. Also because, those memories, along with the people that surround us, sculpt the beauty of who we are. But sometimes I find myself dwelling on them too much, when i should be dwelling on the beauty that could be overflowing today. Doing that causes me to ache, because I want to remake those memories, and I want my relationships with people to stay the same, and not change, or move on and stuff. But truly that is the beauty of really living; changing, growing, and being sculpted. Surrendering everything you once had to God, and accepting the fact that life changes and that it is for the better, brings breakthrough. Breakthrough meaning, being released from these sad feelings and past longings, and realizing that life with all of its ups and downs is what makes it SO BEAUTIFUL. And once I come to Jesus, stripped of all my own efforts of trying to make things happen my way, he shows me the dream that has been written on my heart, and reveals to me that its not too late to drop everything and pursue that dream. And that dream being to simply worship Him with every single thread of my being. 

So I'm giving it all to God, the author of my life. I have decided to finally hand over the pen that i always try to take and write with, when really it is His to write with. It is His pen, and His story.

But tonight i simply just feel sad thinking about what i had. It hurts to let go of one of the closest friends in my heart. But thankfully Jesus, the closest of all, will never grow farther from my heart. & He is comforting me tonight, and healing my heart so that i may see the true beauty of life.

Life really is just beautiful.

You, God, make it beautiful.